If you compare my style posts between this summer and last, there’s a difference. The cheesy poses and never-ending love for late-90s pop music are still there, but the clothes I wear while listening to my awesome BSB/Take That/Robyn mix CDs have changed.
For as long as I’ve been the driving force behind dressing myself, I’ve had rules. Things that, because of how I viewed my body and anticipated society reacting to it, I wouldn’t wear:
- No tank tops without a shirt/cardigan over top to hide my arm jiggle/cover my keratosis pilaris/keep my bra straps from being visible
- No form fitting shirts without a tank top underneath to slim the lines of my stomach
- No short shorts or skirts that show where my thighs touch
The point of the rules was to camouflage those parts of myself that I felt didn’t live up to universally determined social standards of beauty. For me to be beautiful, I had to cover up what was not.
It’s worth noting that these aren’t rules I arbitrarily made up – they’re in ever fashion magazine and every makeover show. And even as a feminist and body-positive advocate who sees the falsehood inherent in the “one beauty fits all” model, I still allowed myself to subscribe to that message and dress in a fashion that fit it.
This pattern continued until…well…last month, when something significant happened: IT GOT FREAKIN’ HOT. I know most of North America has been suffocating under an electric blanket this summer, but my northern European sensibilities have a limit and that limit is 90+ degrees every day.
It was so hot for so long (and still is) that suddenly my wardrobe no longer worked. Cardigans and layering shirts were ridiculous, knee-length skirts were suffocating, and all I wanted to do was lounge around in a tank top and shorts. But I had to leave the house eventually, and what was I to wear? A tank top and shorts? But I couldn’t just wear that, could I?
I could. And it was then that I decided to stop caring. I don’t care if you see the red bumps on the backs of my arms. I don’t care if my stomach isn’t flat under my tank top. I don’t care that the tops of my thighs wiggle when I walk. It’s too damn hot and I just don’t care. I’m still clean and well put together, I still look nice and am subscribing to my own parameters of modesty, but it stops there. No more additional camouflage dressing.
It’s funny. I always assumed that my moment of sartorial empowerment would come after months, nay, years, of intense reflection and self-love. I thought my new attitude would be militant and charge out into the world, defiant and unstoppable, but it’s been much quieter. Truthfully, there’s nothing really to be defiant towards, except that judge-y voice in my head that’s grown too weak with heat exhaustion to put up much of a fight.
I will not be so naive as to assume that this change in attitude and dressing was spontaneously conceived. I know that my engagement and belief in body-positive discourses (including this blog and many of yours) played a pivotal role in bringing me to this point. I just didn’t think the month of July would be its catalyst. Or, perhaps it was simply time for this change to occur and my continuing temperature torture is merely correlation and not causation.
Whatever the cause(s), there’s a quiet revolution occurring in my closet – a revolution fueled in equal parts by confidence and apathy. I don’t pretend to believe my image issues are all completely gone, and who knows what my dressing instincts will be once the weather stops all its crazy. But I’m happy with this new-found freedom and how I’m dressing my body to fit within it.
Have you had a similar moment of choice? Was yours fueled by the weather or are you all made of tougher stuff than I?
For a similar train of thought, be sure to read A Dress a Day‘s “You Don’t Have to be Pretty.”
I never thought there’d be a reason to be grateful this unrelenting heat, but I’m having similar revelation. For the first time in perhaps ages, I’m wearing skirts without tights/shorts/capri-leggings underneath because it’s just too hot to add the extra layer. I’m dealing with my chubby thighs using a chafing relief gel instead, and it’s been glorious.
A look at the weather forecast today(another 98 degree day) and I’m glad that the body-positive readings I’ve been doing have started to take root somewhere so that I can melt an itty bit less right now.
Though I’m still a cover-your-bra-straps lady, thanks to years of parental tut-tuts. XD
Hurrah for you! Hurrah for all of us! Let’s be as awesome as we actually are and let the world deal with it… before we all melt!
*applause!!!*
I’ve decided that it’s too hot for my hair to be in my face and on my neck, so I’m wearing it pulled back and off my face a lot. And usually I’m a hide-behind-my-hair kind of gal, mostly to detract from my nose and hide my moles, but it’s too hot. So I don’t care. Rock on.
I had the same revelation recently! A lot of it was indeed due to the hot, hot heat around here. It’s too hot for cardigans, capris, pants, etc. I actually purchased shorts for the first time this summer (Fella didn’t even realize I didn’t own any until I pointed out they were the first shorts I’d bought in like 10 years), and I have absolutely no problem going sleeveless. I don’t know what I thought would happen if I ever did that, but do you know what happened? Nothing. No one points or stares at my bare arms and shorter skirts/dresses or tells me to cover up. And why should they? It’s really hot, so this is just how people dress. I probably stood out more trying to cover all of this up than I do now.
One thing that did get me thinking about this recently was an article that Already Pretty linked to, wondering why Melissa McCarthy is the only one wearing a dress with sleeves in a “Bridesmaids” promotional ad. Everyone else is in strapless or sleeveless dresses, but it looks like the plus-sized gal has to spare us all from seeing her plus-sized arms. It’s ridiculous when you think about it.
“It looks like the plus-sized gal has to spare us all from seeing her plus-sized arms.”
Anne, have you seen Kathy Najimy promoting “Ch’arms”? Spanx for arms, sorta? Seems like the same motivation.
I just found the HSN video for those – and the nude version is WEIRD (well, they’re all a little weird but that one has an extra dose of strange).
Wow, when I read your comment I thought for sure that Ch’arms was a joke. Control sleeves? Wow. Just wow.
Kathy Najimy, nooooooo! It makes me sad that she’s doing that, I have so much love for her.
This was a fascinating read, Katie. I enjoyed reading both your post and the comments in response. I think this is something I need to ponder for a bit.
DUDE I was totally going to write a post just like this. Thunderstealer! But yes, I totally get where this is coming from, and very much do the same thing. A. and I were going out for dinner across town last Saturday, and across town means public transit (which is not air conditioned at all, and very sweaty and gross by the end of the day). I figured I’d wear a dress that I didn’t need to wear a bra with, because it’s way more comfortable, but it’s just got tiny thin straps. So, in 30+ heat, I said “I need to take a cardigan!” A. looked at me like I had six heads, said “you look fine! you don’t need a cardigan” and after much fretting I left it at home. Would I’ve worn it? No, but I felt like I had to have it just in case. In 30+ heat with humidity so thick you can see it.
Well, my month of July began with a never very flattering post that revealed my skinny white, yet still wimply thighs. Comfort first!
*Wild applause* You look fabulous, and you are fabulous.
“It’s worth noting that these aren’t rules I arbitrarily made up – they’re in ever fashion magazine and every makeover show.”
EXACTLY! It’s not like you pulled self-disgust out of thin air— as R&H would say, you have to be carefully taught.
You’re not just dressing differently now, you’re posting pictures. I find posting pics MUCH scarier than just facing real people. Why is that?
Years ago, Adam Glassman (O Magazine’s young, style-consultant dude) wrote something about how women shouldn’t wear sleeveless tops if their arms aren’t “toned,” and I think he got oh, an infinite number of irate letters from grown women who weren’t about to let some pretty boy upstart doom them to Death By Sweat. I still get cranky about it, that punk.
No matter how many times I read “You Don’t Have to Be Pretty,” it can still be hard to put its wisdom in action. When I say “hard,” I of course mean “gut-wrenching”. I’ve made serious progress in recent years, largely because I started reading body-positive blogs instead of fashion magazines, but sometimes I’m still afraid to be seen.
Pingback: Links à la Mode: The IFB Weekly Roundup | Independent Fashion Bloggers
Pingback: Links à la Mode! « Chanel and Something else
Pingback: Geeked Out Over eCommerce |
Being from the South, I experienced at a young age the whole “holy CRAP it’s hot!” feeling and was thus propelled toward dresses and shorts. But as I got older and moved to different places, I had the same sort of feeling you did- don’t flash too much of my thighs, etc etc. And I still have the things I like to keep under wraps, but getting older has made me a lot of loving and happy about m’bod.
I have to say, I am in LOVE with your second outfit up there- the yellow shorts and that amazing print blouse. The colors are gorgeous and you look fantastic. So glad you experienced your whole revolution so I could see such a wonder.
Pingback: Links à la mode – La semaine de 28 juillet 2011
Pingback: Fashion from around the Web via Links a la Mode | Fashables
Pingback: Influences: Links à La ModeBonne Vie | Bonne Vie
Pingback: Independent Fashion Bloggers- Curran Swint - Kings Rule Together Kings Rule Together
Pingback: 10 ways to dress for French champagne on an Aussie beer budget | Styling You