- Do continuously forget what airline you’re on and speak to flight attendants in the wrong language
- Do avoid the Frankfurt International Airport – it smells like farts
- Don’t wear pants
- Do wear something else that covers your bum
- Do be prepared to do epic battle with the guy in the seat in front of you for every precious inch of legroom on an eight-hour flight. I’m not saying you should adjust his seat every time he gets up to go to the bathroom, only that you could…
- Do make friends with your airplane seatmates. You might just get lucky and have a heated debate over peanuts vs. hazelnuts and synchronize your video monitors to watch Beauty and the Beast so you can all hum along together
- Don’t hum too loudly, the dude across the aisle from you has no appreciation of classic musicals
- Don’t listen to that playlist of Buddy Holly covers – you’ll start imagining suspect engine noises
- Do grab all the discarded European style magazines you can find. The pictures are pretty and every once in a while you’ll spot a word you know. Pamplemousse!
- Do start crying quite unattractively if you miss your connecting flight and are facing the horror of spending the night in the Newark Airport – you’ll get the last remaining seat in the world, and it’ll be emergency exit row at that!
- Don’t decide to watch Dolphin Tale when you’ve been awake for 30 hours. All the crying just weirds out the guy next to you
- Do be thrilled to finally get home, and start planning your next trip!
Fantastico tips Miss Katie! I take it that your trip was a success then!!
God, Newark…I’d cry uncontrollably if asked to spend the night in that airport, for sure! Glad you had a good trip.
Glad you’re home safe and sound. Would love to hear the rest of the story behind some of these tips.
Welcome home! Also, sorry to know about the fart smell, Dolphin Tale, and Newark breakdown. Thanks so much for the rest! I’m totally doing the seat adjustment thing when I fly next week. That’s probably WAY more effective than sighing audibly and bonking the back of the chair in every way I can possibly imagine.
I’m telling you, those seats just push right back into place. On one leg of my trip, the plane was so small that my knees were jammed into the seat in front of me as soon as I sat down. The woman in that seat kept trying to lean back, but there was no place for my legs to go so the seat wouldn’t budge. Her (short) boyfriend kept glaring at me. I think he was just jealous.