["Take Two" of Surreptitious Museum Outfit Shots. Pro: not blurry! Cons: no feet. Also, mysterious orb - probably a ghost - floating on my head. It's a work in progress.]
And now, for a story:
Why I Will Never be Hired to Write About Fashion
The Break Room at Katie’s Museum
Co-Worker #1: ”That’s a pretty shirt, Katie. I like the pattern.”
Katie:” Thanks! I like it, too*, even though it secretly sort of reminds me of the cross-section of a penis.”
*This is where I should have stopped talking
Co-Worker #2: Ummm…
Co-Worker #1: ”I’m surprised you know what the cross-section of a penis looks like.”
Co-Worker #3: ”Really? We are talking about Katie.*”
*I think she was implying that I know a lot of weird things. Not that I go around dissecting manly bits. Although I have done that to a shark…
Katie: “Oh yeah, I had a whole semester of Mammalian Physiology on reproductive organs. I know a lot about penises.”
Co-Worker #4 (male) who just walked in: “…I think I’m going to go eat in the other room…”
Co-Worker #2: “You do realize, that now every time you wear that shirt, we’re all going to be thinking ‘There goes Katie in her secret penis shirt.’”
My current museum job ends in April, so I’m already preparing for whatever my next adventure might be. Along with looking for my next gig, I’m continuing to build my “professional” wardrobe.*
*And just biding my time until they make formalwear Snuggies. Black tie in the front, open in the back.
When I found these wonderfully wide leg pants on uber-clearance at the Gap, I quickly added them to my interview arsenal.
And on a completely unrelated note, how much do my arms and hands look like a tree frog’s in the following photo?
Another hiring plus, if you ask me. I wear awesome pants AND I imitate a sticky-toed, three-eyelided amphibian. Score!
My shirt is covered in butterflies. When I was describing it to The Rocket Scientist, I mentioned that the only thing that would make it cooler would be to change the pattern to centipedes.
Because, as Mariah Carey has shown us time and again, anyone can wear butterflies. Wearing centipedes? That takes some backbone…or not.
Although, it is true that no one suspects the butterfly…*
Black and white always reads as “zebra” to me. Throw a leopard-print scarf into the mix, and suddenly it’s predator vs prey in an epic survival of the fittest on the Serengeti.
Rawr.
Or a cast reunion for Zoobilee Zoo.
For those interested in knowing the difference between spotted animal prints, the following visuals should help.
Cheetah: solid black, round/oval spots.
Leopard: complex pattern of clusters of black and brown spots which look like roses (called rosettes).
Once I was on an archaeological survey and, in the middle of the digging, sifting, and sweating, the lead archaeologist suddenly stopped, looked over at our pile of backpacks, water bottles and extra tools and bellowed:
What self-respecting archaeologist would bring a bright purple backpack on a dig?
Without missing a beat or even looking up, several of the other surveyors simultaneously pointed to me, sitting in the middle of the prairie looking sheepish in my purple bandanna, purple socks, and grey and purple t-shirt.
That story is the roundabout way to tell you that I like purple. A lot. Which is why this t-shirt, jacket, and scarf combination makes me a happy girl.
I find it funny that one of my favorite colors is technically one that doesn’t exist. There’s no single frequency of light on the visible spectrum that reads as “purple.” Rather, the shades of purple that our eyes see are illusions created from mixture of other frequencies, usually reds and blues. See the graph below? No purple.
The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize. – Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias
Oh, Clairee, I beg to differ.
There’s no shortage of humans willing to humiliate their pets by playing dress-up, but I’m a fan of the animals that accessorize with no external help. Here are my favorites.
1. Hermit Crab. An obvious choice? Perhaps. But these guys do come with built-in housing. And since they can upgrade when the fancy strikes them, they end up with some pretty sweet digs.
Could you pull off wearing sea anemones?
And just look at the complementary color coordination going on here!
2. Veined Octopus. “You put the octopus in the coconut and drink it all up…”
Eat your heart out, Carmen Miranda – you’re not the only one who can pull off wearing fruit.
In a new-ish discovery, scientists observed these octopi (or octopuses, both are correct. Save your grammar war for the Oxford Comma) using empty coconut shells as temporary shelter and camouflage in exposed areas of the sea bed.
I really need to wear more produce…
3. Decorator Crab. This is the Hermit Crab with the volume turned to 11 and covered with sponge, coral, urchin and anemone.
Can you even spot the crab under all that?
4. Blue-Ring Top Snail. As someone who spent two years cataloging and organizing snail shells, I speak with the authority that only the drudgery of graduate work can impart when I say that snail shells don’t get much prettier.
I think I’d be okay having my anus located above my head if I got to wear a house as lovely as this one.
5. Caddisfly Larva. While adult caddisflies are true minimalists when it comes to accessorizing, many species’ larvae are aquatic architects who use self-produced silk to construct beautiful cases.
Look at that purple hat!
And it gets better. Artist Hubert Duprat gave caddisfly larvae gold, precious and semi-precious stones as building materials and this is what the larvae gave back:
These guys are masters of pattern, color and texture. I’m just proud when I remember to wear both socks.
Silk scarf – thrifted, worn in the “amoeboidly” style
Sandals – Target
Today I had a very successful meeting with a museum that is interested in using me and my brain as a consultant. This could be really cool and I’m super-excited to develop the project and my own company. Too bad the name “Katie, Incorporated” is already taken.
So who has two thumbs and feels awesome today? This girl.
Also, apparently Muscle Beach is behind me.
So here’s to new opportunities and adventures, and I hope you all are having a fantastic Friday, too!
And here’s a bear sculpture I found. From this angle, it looks like it’s pole dancing. Don’t say I never gave you anything, internets.
P.S. Months back when I was having other interviews, Cynthiacommented that she didn’t think my interview outfits looked like “me” without a scarf. I agree, and think that the combination of ponte knit dress and silk scarf was perfect for an interview on a hot and sunny day.
The Rocket Scientist and I watched the Miss USA pageant. What can I say? I enjoy a good sparkly dress and The Simpsons was a rerun. While I’m not going to say that the program was interesting (because it wasn’t), I was very intrigued when I learned one of the questions asked in the pre-competition interviews: Should evolution should be taught in schools?
Neutrality is the name of the beauty pageant game on controversial issues, and that’s how most contestants answered. However, their neutral responses were so full of mis-information that the women came across sounding ill-informed with respect to evolution and the alternatives they were using as comparison. Embodying a culturally-esteemed standard of beauty is no excuse for ignorance.
Putting aside my frustrations that every contestant adopted the false dichotomy that the opposite of evolution is Judeo-Christian creationism, and that none of the women appeared to understand that the U.S Department of Education has declared that “students may be taught about religion, but public schools may not teach religion,” what made me sad was the contestants’ scientific illiteracy.
For example, take Angelina Kayyalaynen, Miss Washington’s, answer:
Facts should be stated and we should know the facts as to how the world evolves because it does. But as far as when it comes to little theories and what not, you should probably want to stay away from those. I believe in the truth and the truth only, not somebody’s, you know, imagination or hope of what not so I think facts not theories should be taught.
There’s also Kia Hampton, Miss Kentucky’s, response:
I do feel that evolution shouldn’t be taught in schools because there’s…so many different definitions, like how do you teach a child the true meaning of evolution when so many different cultures have their different beliefs and sciences have their different theories…
Finally, Keeley Patterson, Miss Mississippi:
I think evolution should be taught as what it is. It’s a theory, so I don’t think it should be taught as fact, but I do think our children should know the theories.
In each of these responses, the contestants completely misrepresented the concepts of scientific”fact” and “theory.” So here are some working definitions for next year’s contestants and the rest of us:
Scientific Fact: A scientific fact is any observation that has been repeatedly and independently confirmed, accepted as true, and has not been refuted.
Scientific Theory: A scientific theory is not a guess or a hunch. It’s a substantiated, supported, and documented explanation for scientific facts and observations. Scientific theories connect all the facts about a topic, providing an explanation that fits all the observations and can be used to make predictions. In science, “theory” is the explanation.
In the American vernacular, “theory” often means “imperfect fact”–part of a hierarchy of confidence running downhill from fact to theory to hypothesis to guess…If evolution is worse than a fact, and scientists can’t even make up their minds about the theory, then what confidence can we have in it?
Well evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world’s data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don’t go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein’s theory of gravitation replaced Newton’s in this century, but apples didn’t suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape-like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin’s proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered.
Moreover, “fact” doesn’t mean “absolute certainty”; there ain’t no such animal in an exciting and complex world.
While winner of Miss USA, Alyssa Campanella, Miss California, did state that:
I was taught evolution in high school. I do believe in it. I’m a huge science geek…I like to believe in the Big Bang Theory and, you know, the evolution of humans throughout time.
even her use of the word “believe” is inappropriate. Well-established scientific concepts aren’t open for belief the way personal opinion is. But, in the end, the fact that she accepts the tenants of evolution is beside the point.
The point is, there’s no excuse for any of us to be scientifically illiterate. Political, economical, medical and educational policies are made every day that are based on scientific information and that affect us all. This is a discourse we need to participate in, but we can’t participate if we don’t know what’s being said. Understanding and accepting a common language allows us to question, debate and decide, and I’ll be damned if I let you use poor and incorrect words to support your argument.
So here’s my official offer to teach a crash-course in scientific language to next year’s Miss USA contestants. My fee: one hour of getting to wear the big crown.
For my second contribution to Dress Your Best, I’m going all-out existential and dressing to highlight my brain.
While the original premise of the exercise is to celebrate the physical characteristics we love, I also want to explore celebrations of the less-tangible. For me, my brain and the things it gets to do often has a direct affect on what I wear. So today I dressed to show off my fantastic grey and white matter.
The assumed inverse-relationship between intelligence and an interest in fashion is nothing new. I still have friends and colleagues who struggle to reconcile my equal loves of peep toes and spring peepers. But both are integral parts of myself, and I adore when they overlap.
Today’s outfit of a shift dress, lab coat, belt, “hearts” necklace and closed-toe shoes, worn to teach kids how to dissect pig hearts, may not seem like much. But it’s colorful and practical. And, if you know how to read it, this outfit tells you about me and my brain.
In this outfit, my brain controls my hand with amazing precision as I wield a scalpel. My brain remembers all the chambers, arteries, veins and valves of the heart. My brain encourages kids who want nothing to do with a smelly hunk of muscle to put on gloves, pick up a scalpel, and become explorers. My brain builds environments where trepidation and fear are defeated by curiosity and success. My brain finds the perfect balance of information, encouragement, fun, and knowing when to back off and let the wonder of nature take over. My brain creates future scientists.
So I love wearing this lab coat. It may give me big shoulders and always ride up in the back, but it also becomes a physical extension of all the synapses, dendrites, axons, knowledge and curiosity I have inside my head. While I sometimes think life would be easier as a brain in a jar (hey, it worked for Nixon), at least I can put on a lab coat and let my brain take center stage every once in a while.
Here are some other outfits I’ve worn that highlight my brain:
I rarely post my weekend outfits, because some combinations of Spice Girls t-shirts and plaid boxer shorts from 10th grade are best left to the imagination. This weekend, though, I was active! And, dare I say, quasi-athletic?
Outdoorsy-Katie doesn’t happen all that often, so it was worth capturing for posterity and evidence. So here I am, looking snazzy while surrounded by nature.
Saturday: Kayaking
Purple sweatshirt – Gap
Unseen khaki shorts – Old Navy
Life vest – The Rocket Scientist’s mom
Kayak – Kayaks ‘R Us?
I only agreed to try kayaking once The Rocket Scientist promised me that
I probably wouldn’t get sea sick on a reservoir
I probably wouldn’t tip over into the water
Fish probably wouldn’t jump out and try to eat me
I love biology, but I love chlorinated pools even more, so this took some bravery.
But then I got pretty awesome at kayaking.
I should have known – both “Katie” and “kayak” begin with “k.” I’m also awesome at kangaroos, kites and potassium.
Then I got sleepy.
Sunday: Hiking
Orange fleece – Old Navy
Navy tank – thrifted
Khaki shorts – Old Navy
Floral kerchief – Gap
Hiking boots – Chaco
The Rocket Scientist and I couldn’t do the hike we wanted to the river was crazy high! So we did some walking and then ate bison burgers in a mountain cafe, which is identical to hiking except without the exercise part.
Gratuitous insect photo:
So cute, yet so deadly (if you’re smaller than a peppercorn, anyway).
I just discovered the blog Life Before the Dinosaurs, all about the wild and wacky world that existed pre-Triassic. That’s more than enough for nerd in me to get excited, but then I learned that the blog is written by a seven year-old. Seven!
When I was seven, I spent most of my time playing with My Little Pony and taking naps. And, if we’re being honest, not much has changed.
From Life Before the Dinosaurs:
Wiwaxia was one of the weirdest of all the oddball animals of the Burgess Shale. It had a foot like a snail, a shell like a limpet, and scales like a fish on its shell. And the weirdest of all is that it had twelve glowing spines sticking out the top.
Kimberella was a strange creature that could have been a mollusc and lived in the Vendian Period. It had a strange lasagna-shaped foot and a flattened shell on top. It was 1/2″ to 4″.
Kimberella crawled along the sea floor looking for edible scraps because organisms didn’t start predation until the Cambrian Period.
Kimberella was a very weird creature because it had a shell and why would something have a shell if there was no predator? It did have a pretty hard shell.
I’m going to go invent a time machine so I can travel back to 1990 and tell my seven year-old self to get on it. But I’ll probably take a nap first.
As I left for work in this outfit, a very sleep Rocket Scientist looked at me and said,
The stripes and the yellow look really pretty together. But what’s that horrible growth coming out of your neck?*
The dude does not like lace, or “doilies,” as he calls them. Which is too bad for him, because if there’s one thing I love it’s a lace necklace. Observe:
Three lace necklaces isn’t too many, right?
And I spotted a spider on the wall, and got distracted (as usual), hence the title of this post.
Do you have any loves (style or otherwise) that others around you just don’t get?
Sir Mix-A-Lot and I have more in common than a love of gaudy jewelry. For example: butts. He likes his “‘real thick and juicy,” and mine come in animal form. Because the sad truth is, for all my love of biology, I’m a lousy wildlife photographer. Well, at least for the parts of wildlife most people want to see…
What I can photograph is butts. I whip out the camera and all living things whip out their rear ends. The result of this phenomenon is a huge collection of posterior photos, and Vancouver was no exception.
A Canada goose in Canada - it's so literal!
Carpenter ant butt - well, technically, "abdomen"
Looking up some jellies' tentacles to see their coelenterons
Check out those tube feet and papullae for the excretion of nitrogenous waste!
Turtle butt
In a forest full of walking sticks, their frass (poop) can sound like rain falling through the trees
Pacific White Sided Dolphin flukes
Beluga butt
Cracker butterfly butt. I once had one of these pee on my face, but that's a story for another day
Tiny monkey butt
Another sea star
Aquarium photos from the Vancouver Aquarium, outdoor photos from outdoors
But if I really want to make an impression, there’s only one option:
Yep, eight arms or nothing.
But I don’t think I can fit the extra appendages in my carry-on luggage, so maybe this dress. Ocean colors, a pattern reminiscent of water bubbles, with a blazer and my pewter shark pin swimming upon a lapel.
*Of course Ursula would be my inspiration over Ariel. The lady-octopus had fabulous jewelry and was purple.
This amazing piece of jewelry is the work of Hanna Bernhard, a husband and wife jewelry team based in France. I can’t afford any of their pieces, and I will probably have to settle for bedazzling an actual horseshoe crab and training it to sit on my shoulder*, but a girl can dream, right?
One book is for work, the other for pleasure, but both are captivating my imagination. And what perfect pieces for inspiration: the soft blues, greys and creams of the oceans on each cover are calm and cool and make an appropriate palate for the rainy days we’ve been having. If only I had some pteranodon jewelry…
I colored myself in grey and blue, added turqouise earrings that look like coral, and draped on silk scarves whose patterns and material move like water. Then I found some actual water and alternated between imagining I was a) standing on the rocky beaches of Cape Breton, NS overlooking the Atlantic and b) atop slowly respiring mounds of stromatolitesrising out of the shallow sea of the Denver Basin.
I also realized that, back in November, I dressed like one of my old Entomology text books.
For those of you who don’t know and therefore don’t love Charley Harper yet (don’t worry, you soon will), Harper was a modernist artist famous for his simple, stylized and yet highly accurate illustrations of wildlife. The zoologist in me loves how precisely and perfectly Harper captured the essence of life with as few lines as possible, the fashionista in me loves the rich colors Harper used, and the goofball in me loves how much sass Harper could make everything from a raccoon to a Euglena have.
Most people know Harper for his bird pictures:
But I love Harper for how he took the animals most people don’t adore (grubs, lizards, waterstriders, etc.) and showed how beautiful they are.
I think the only thing better than having Charley Harper on your walls would be to have Charley Harper on your person (in a totally non-dirty way, of course). Design house Celine secured the rights to five of Harper’s prints and incorporated them into their 2009 resort wear collection. Biology and style, such a perfect combination!
The shoes have fish on them!
So what do you think? I’ve seen clothing inspired by Picasso, Monet, Polluck and Mondrian; does it work with Harper’s style? And who knows where I can find those shoes?
Remember when I said I had a “curator uniform”? Well, the ensemble strikes again! And I didn’t even bother switching out the blazer.
Today I went with my awesome colleague L. to a high school career fair in a school the size of one of those islands Richard Branson owns. I was signed up to speak at three breakout sessions: Archaeology/Anthropology, Education and Science.
Because I work with artifacts, specimens and the processes of those fields, but am not a specialist in any of them (now, if there’d been a breakout session on “Awesome,” no problem), I figured I’d better look at least professional-ish as a way to trick those jaded teenagers into believing that I knew what I was talking about.
On second thought, perhaps the “Spy” pin wasn’t the best choice for conveying trustworthiness.
Yep, should have gone with the “Mathematics” medal. Someone wearing those must be a genius, no question.
Overall, the sessions went really well. The summary of my talk in each session went something like this:
I’m passionate about archaeology/anthropology/education/science, but I didn’t want to be a traditional archaeologist/anthropologist/teacher/scientist. So I went into museums. Come and join us, all of you who are too indecisive/distractable to focus on one thing!
It was more eloquent than that, and I did meet quite a few students who were interested specifically in museum work. Yay! Sadly, the students weren’t nearly as interested in the fossilized dinosaur poop. Oh, youth.
This is me preventing the wind from pulling a “Marilyn” on me. After all, there are small children present.
Currently reading: The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee, on the recommendation of the hasn’t-steered-me-wrong-yet Raych. However, I’m pretty sure it’s made me a cancer hyperchondriac. So there’s that.
Currently watching: Blame it on Fidel! I first saw this movie when The Rocket Scientist rented it as a way to practice the French he was teaching himself (darn you polyglots, how I envy your polyglottal ways!). It’s adorable, and just as good the second time around.
This winter was definitely the season of grey for me. Looking through our archives, I wore that color more than any other over the past six months. My love affair with grey is nowhere near an end (it is the perfect combination of the absence of color and the absence of light, after all), but with spring firmly arrived, it’s time to invite some other colors to the party.
So here’s my send-off to grey.
Actually, I find elements of this outfit quite spring-like. The bare legs and draped layers are light and airy, and the overall effect feels very Grecian. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t think “winter” when I think Greece. I think Mamma Mia!. Obviously.
It’s the juxtaposition of dark colors and drapey layers that appeals to me most. So if this can’t be my spring outfit, let it be my Rite of Spring outfit, full of strong crescendos and crashing cymbals opposite moments of softness and sweetness.
Plus, both Disney’s Fantasia and my outfit draw our Rite of Spring inspiration from the prehistoric world. Because, let’s face it, I dressed like a Megalodontooth today.
Carcharodon sp.
I’m just hoping none of you stormed away and started rioting in anger after seeing this outfit, like the audience did during the first performance of Stravinsky’s piece.
FYI, this isn’t the first time I’ve dressed like a shark. It isn’t the second time, either. And I think we all know it won’t be the last.
Need a Stravinsky-fashion connection stronger than my desire to dress like a fossil? Watch Coco Chanel and Igor Stravinsky.
People see the floral skirts, silver shoes, lace necklaces, and rhinestone spider pins and think they know who I am. And they rarely think biology nerd. The way I dress has a stronger visual fit in the world of paintings and sculptures than it does in specimen jars and skulls, but here I am – collection of insects and all.
One more than one occasion the naturalists clad in khaki vests and hiking boots have scoffed at how I look. They see pink and silk and lipstick and assume that I can’t be “one of them.” They initially doubt my experience and knowledge based on my appearance, but it doesn’t take them long to realize they were wrong.
I will always be the person who adds dangly earrings to the ensemble of baseball cap on my head and handkerchief around my neck when working in the field. I will always be the person who shows up to give a briefing to park rangers wearing a piece of statement jewelry. I will always be the person who waxes poetic about slime mold while dressed in a tulle skirt. I will always be that person because I will always be me.
I was fortunate enough to grow up under an umbrella of feminism that made it clear that I had the power to chose who I would be and where my passions would be found. Those passions may sometimes seem quite polar (florals and fossils, ballet flats and bumblebees), but they are equally mine and equally me. So when I wear a dress to dissect a squid, in my own small way I’m asserting my convictions and faith in feminism. I’m happily refusing to be placed into a box of preconceived expectations based on how I look and what I do. My fashion choices coupled with the other passions of my life alert the world to pay attention, look closer, and be ready to be astonished. I will always be more, so much more, than you first expected.
(Well, about a five minute drive from my backyard, but that’s close enough…)
Those seven butts you see there? Elk! On a walk earlier today I came across a band of 11 juvenile male elk grazing on some of my community’s local open space land.
I kept my distance,* but was able to capture some beautiful shots.
If I can’t have my lobster dress, then I suspect I need one with snakes on it. So much cooler than snakeskin print, and I’ve already worn the actualsnakes…
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. – Walden, Henry David Thoreau
Every year my school would take our annual pilgrimage to Walden Pond. The highlight was usually seeing how many dead fish we could spot (Walden wasn’t so healthy back then), but each trip always included a discussion on Thoreau and what he hoped to achieve by “living deliberately” in the woods.
The Interrobangs are four curious and resourceful women who create, explore, dress, debate, read, think, cook, design, and travel, and this blog is a record of our various adventures. Individually, we are Chelsie, Katie, Millie and Sarah.
